QUICK GUIDE: How Not To Architect (Part 2)
Check out PART 1 here!
So, I'm frequently asked what makes me so ANGRY. The truth is, I'm not always in a rage... in fact, quite often I'm a veritable ball of sweetness and light! (Within reason of course, I am an architect after all...)
The infamous anger only really occurs only when I see architecture, design, engineering and project managing that is - how do I put this? - at the WRONG end of the intelligence spectrum. This includes everything from a dodgy door handle to an enormous, post-modern mess...
The question is: How can we reduce this source of face-palming frustration? By compiling a handy pamphlet for all concerned, succinctly named:
A QUICK GUIDE: HOW NOT TO ARCHITECT.
Peruse the articles below for examples of what not to do, and feel free to contribute to the collection as you see fit, just send me your photos over on the official Facebook page... for the benefit and continuing professional development of us all, of course. You can thank me later.
The Angry Architect
ARTICLE 11: Geodesic Domes.
This is Kosovo Library. I'll admit, it does bear similarities to a project of mine in the early years of University... we've all been there, right? There is potential to the building's many components, but together... not so much.
ARTICLE 12: "Metaphor".
The Fang Yuan Building in Shenyang, China: That'll be the building shaped like an ancient coin then. Subtle.
ARTICLE 13: "Metaphor" Part 2.
The Elephant Building in Bangkok: I have nothing against elephants per se, but the proportions of this particular one gives me chills. Not in a good way.
ARTICLE 14: "Metaphor" Part 3.
This is the Grand Lisboa Hotel in Macau. The national flower of Macau is the Lotus. So, naturally, this hotel-casino was designed in the shape of an ENORMOUS Lotus. Kapish?
ARTICLE 15: Ionic Disorder.
The M2 Building in Tokyo: Neo-Classicism met Post-modernism, got really drunk together, one thing led to another, then... this.
ARTICLE 16: Signage.
Oh, the irony.
ARTICLE 17: Hole In The Wall.
Being somewhat vertically challenged, I find this particularly offensive.
ARTICLE 18: Gigantic-Death-Ray-Glass-Façades.
As reported last year: the brutish 37-storey tower at 20 Fenchurch Street in central London, dubbed the 'Walkie Talkie' due to its distinctive shape, has been re-christened the 'Walkie Scorchie' because of its apparent ability to bounce heat from the sun on to buildings and cars in the next street.
Angry business owners in Eastcheap said the £200million project blistered paintwork, caused tiles to smash and singed fabric. It also melted a City man's rather expensive Jaguar.
ARTICLE 19: Door Swings.
"There, I fixed it."
ARTICLE 20: Integrated Technology.
Satellite television with built-in pasive ventilation. Lovely-jubbly.